I've had a pretty sobering week. Between assorted celebrity deaths in the news and a couple of local tragedies involving young people, if there was any doubt at all in my mind that the number of our days is ordered by God and so often out of our control, then that idea has been thoroughly put to rest.
Like so many people, I have struggled a lot with fear of this unknown. As if I can manipulate the powers that be. Heck, I am even afraid that the fact that I am writing this post the night before I am to fly on a plane "means something". Maybe it does, but maybe it doesn't mean what I fear in my control-scented life. Maybe it just means I'm gonna get on that plane and place my life in God's hands instead of playing out every possible scenario in my head, the better to control things, because in my twisted logic, events that are worried about never happen.
Farrah Fawcett's death particularly touched me. Not because Farrah was someone that I followed very closely. I didn't think of her much really until after she was dead. Retroactively doing some internet research on her, however, I was blown away at her willingness to lay off the glamour and
allow herself to be filmed in the midst of cancer treatment. Not as a publicity stunt, but in the hopes of providing some commiseration for fellow cancer patients. It was so touching to see that her and Ryan O'Neill finished their relationship well, despite their previous history.
It's easy to dismiss people like Michael Jackson as having "done it to themselves". That keeps up the illusion of control. Probably Jackson's drug use DID play a role in his death. However, I know a woman who died of a heart attack at the age of 52. Didn't drink, didn't smoke, exercised, ate right: the whole nine yards.
I'm sure we all can think of people who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Billy Mays also died today. Annoying as he was, he illustrates a lesson in "you just never know". Word is now that
he hit his head on an airplane during a rough landing the same day that he was found dead. Maybe the landing had something to do with his death; maybe not.
Natasha Richardson is another one. There is some truth to the idea that one just never knows. Even if some things might have delayed death (not using drugs, seatbelts, helmets, seeking immediate medical attention), we will all still die someday.
Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, but Lazarus did presumably die eventually. That's a good thing to keep in mind.
Far more than the control factor though, is the powerful idea that for all of us this day will come, even if it is a long way off. Sometimes it's easy to forget that if you are in relatively good health and enjoying life for the most part. We are made for something greater, something beyond this life. It's good to remember that and keep whatever we are going through in this life, the good and the bad; in it's place.
I used to know an Eastern Orthodox priest who would look around a room and say "let's talk about death". Yeah, that's pretty durn creepy/freaky/whatever. I know what he was getting at, though: it is important to keep that perspective as we go about our lives. To always see things in light of eternity and not in simply getting what we want, when we want it for this life. I am no monastic. I'm all about having fun and enjoying life. There are a lot of things; good things; in this life that I treasure. Unlike some, I don't believe that God finds this to be problematic. Even in enjoying this world, though, it's good to have that perspective that there is more and we likely do not know when our days on this earth will end.
So that's my philosophical meanderings for today...